


i'll make the moon shine just for you

by captainegg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ficlet Collection, M/M, specific tags in chapter summaries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainegg/pseuds/captainegg
Summary: A collection of ficlets all about Remus and Sirius throughout the years and in alternative universes.**This is a living work! Please read chapter summaries for tags/descriptions specific to each ficlet**NEW CHAPTER: 20/09
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 45





	1. Table of Contents

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on my [tumblr](https://im-captain-egg.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> [my Wolfstar playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4NVxURL9IYwJT4w5Wp7Bvt?si=aytQ2EajQauUfYpwPif5aw)

**Table of Contents**

#2 Honey-glazed Kindness — T, Marauders era, fluffy and very soft

#3 No More Dogs — T, modern!AU / non-magical!AU, fluff

#4 Rainy Days — T, Marauders era, fluff, the boys being boys

#5 Plaid — T, Marauders era, Scottish!Remus, Sirius wearing a kilt, fluff, first kiss

#6 After — T, Order of The Phoenix, sad-ish, comfort, sharing a bed

#7 beneath my skin i'm running out of time — M, AU, Wolfstar/Remadora, hurt, unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcoholism

#8 crawl into bed with me — T, Marauders era, fluff, sharing a bed

#9 Forks — T, Marauders era, jealousy, first kiss and love confessions

#10 Amortentia — T, Marauders era

#11 Comfort Me — T, Marauders era, hurt and comfort, fluff

#12 Potions Homework — T, Marauders era, fluff


	2. Honey-galzed Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Marauders era at Hogwarts  
> fluffy and very soft
> 
> POV - Sirius
> 
> Prompt: "You nap, I'll stay awake."  
> Sirius can't sleep but then Remus comes along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For jennandblitz.  
> Thank you so much for the prompt!

Sirius sat in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room.

It was late at night, the castle around him quiet, only the slow crackling of the fire filled the room. He wore his plaid pyjamas, blanket wrapped tightly around his slim shoulders, hair a shaggy mess. He had awoken from another nightmare, drenched in sweat, a silent scream on his lips. Ever since he ran away from home, nightmares had been haunting him. He usually tried to just shake it off and go back to sleep. But tonight had been different. 

Sirius could still feel the cold hands of his mother on his skin and around his neck, the intensity of her steel-grey eyes burned into the back of his mind. He shuddered.

The disgust in her words still made his ears ring and stomach turn. In the morning, he liked to pretend that everything was alright when he barely made it out of bed, dark circles under his eyes, hair an absolute mess or when he almost fell asleep during class. He obviously noticed the way his friends looked at him but he decided to ignore it as best as he could. Sirius had never been someone to openly talk about his feelings or trauma.

Sure, he could be a hell of a drama queen sometimes but this was too personal, the wounds still so fresh, that it was hard to find the courage he needed to reach out. Sometimes at night, when he couldn’t fall asleep, he tried to find the right words to describe what he felt but every word he tried to grasp slipped through his fingers.

Sirius sighed, tugging his blanket even tighter around himself.

The fire crackled peacefully, the warm light danced across his tired face. Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the warmth and the comfort.

His eyelids felt heavy but Sirius couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes for longer than a few seconds. Too afraid of what would await him in his dreams, too afraid of seeing it all again, too afraid of going back. A lonely tear rolled down his cheek but Sirius didn’t bother wiping it away. No one would see him right now anyway, there was no need to keep his though facade up.

Sirius lifted his head as steppes approached him.

His restless storm grey eyes were met with honey-glazed kindness.

“Sirius,” Remus said softly before sliding next to him on the armchair.

“I couldn’t sleep,” muttered Sirius, scooting over a little go give Remus some more space to sit down. The armchair was barely big enough to accommodate the two of them but neither of them seemed to mind.

“I figured so much,” said Remus, tugging his bare feet underneath Sirius’s blanket.

Silence settled between them.

Sirius finally felt the tension slipping away, his nightmare nothing but a hazy memory. “I’ve been having a lot of nightmares recently,” he whispered after a while, nervously picking at his nails.

Remus gently took Sirius’ hands into his own. “It’s okay, Sirius. You went through a lot. We are here for you whenever you are ready to talk about it. You don’t have to handle everything on your own, you know?”

Sirius only nodded.

“We can get you some sleep potion from Poppy if you want or one of us can stay by your side while you sleep. I’m pretty sure James and Peter won’t mind. And neither would I. You always do so much for me, it’s the least I can do.” Remus smiled tenderly, his thumb brushing swiftly over Sirius’ knuckles. “Let’s make a deal, okay?”

Sirius nodded slowly, barely lifting his head to look Remus in the eyes. The light from the fireplace danced over his freckled face, reflecting in the gold specks of his eyes.

“You nap, I’ll stay awake. And then tomorrow we’ll think of a fun prank for Snivellus. Sounds good?”

Sirius felt drowsiness wash over him, the comfort of having Remus around slowly settling in. He could barely keep his eyelids open. “Sounds fair,” he mumbled, a tired smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Sirius let his body sink against Remus, head resting on his chest, the other’s heartbeat a calming lullaby.

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius and placed a light kiss on his head.

“Good night, Pads.”


	3. No More Dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> modern!AU / non-magical!AU  
> fluff
> 
> POV - Remus
> 
> Prompt: "No more dogs. How hard is that to understand?"  
> Remus comes home to find that Sirius had brought home yet another dog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For purplechimera8.  
> Thank you so much for the prompt!

It had been a long day at work and Remus was happy to be on his way back home.

He and Sirius had bought a small cosy home a little outside of London with a big garden and a bit of forest tucked in the back.

And soon Sirius had started to bring animals home. So far they had a handful of chickens and ducks, two cats and five dogs.

They had started out with two dogs when they first moved in together and over time their family had grown rapidly. Mostly thanks to Sirius and his love and compassion for animals.

It all started when Sirius began working at the local animal rescue. Every time someone dropped a particularly old or ugly dog off at the shelter, Sirius had brought them home.

After dog number 5, a greyhound named Buckbeak, Sirius had to promise Remus to not bring any more dogs home without the two of them talking it through beforehand. The next day, Sirius had brought home an orphaned duck. “It’s not a dog, Remus. See?” Sirius said. Remus only shook his head.

Remus sighed as he pulled up to their house. It had been a sunny day, the sun slowly setting behind the house, painting the sky in vivid colours. He exited the car and made his way up the gravel path towards the house.

Inside, he was greeted by the two cats, Dobby and Kreacher, wrapping themselves around his legs, gently pressing their heads against his calves. Remus set his bag and jacket aside, picked Dobby up and made his way over to the living room.

“Sirius? I’m back home, dear.”

Nothing.

Remus put Dobby down on the sofa and walked over to the kitchen and then down the hall towards their bedroom. “Sirius? Where the heck are you?”

The splashing of water and muffled swears caught his attention. Followed by five dogs, Remus walked over to the bathroom.

Before he was able to open the door, it flung open and Sirius stumbled into his arms. “Oh, Remus. You’re back early,” he said, pushing strands of black hair behind his ear.

Remus raised an eyebrow. Something was off but he wasn’t quite sure what. He took a closer look at his boyfriend. He looked exactly how he had that morning when Remus drove off to work. But something caught his attention.

“Sirius …. you are absolutely drenched! And what is that smell? Wet dog?”

Sirius looked down on himself as if he hadn’t noticed the wet spots all over his shirt and trousers. “Well … promise me not to get angry, Remus.” Sirius fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

Remus turned towards the dogs that had lined up behind them and counted them.

Five.  
Five dogs.

Remus had a vague idea of what waited behind the bathroom door, happily splashing inside their bathtub.

“Sirius,” Remus said with a stern voice, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Please don’t tell me that you brought home another dog.” Sirius winced, nervously shuffling from one foot to the other.

“No? Maybe?” Remus sighed.

“We had a deal. No more dogs. How hard is that to understand?” he asked, gesturing to the puddle of fur to his left.

“I couldn’t help myself, Rem! His previous owners were dicks! They just left him outside on a leash in front of the shelter all night! We don’t have to keep him but just for a while, okay? It felt right to bring him here.”

Remus wanted to be angry and disappointed. Sirius had promised him that they would talk it through first. But at the end of the day, Sirius only wanted to help and offer a good forever home. And so did Remus.

“I shouldn’t let you off the hook so easily but there is still free space in our bed at night so what harm will one more dog do?”

And just like that, Sirius was a bouncing happy mess, jumping up and down the hallway, silly dancing, hair flying in all directions.

Remus leaned against the doorframe with a soft smile. “Why don’t you introduce me to our new family member then?”


	4. Rainy Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Marauders era at Hogwarts  
> fluff  
> the boys being boys
> 
> POV - Remus
> 
> Prompt: "After everything … I’d still choose you."  
> Remus comes out as a werewolf to his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For blueseasandchestnuts.  
> Thank you so much for the prompt suggestion!

It was a rainy Saturday.

The boys were all curled up in their dorm room, laughing and sharing butterbeer, jelly slugs and cauldron cakes. Thick droplets of water drummed against the windows in an unknown melody.

Remus sat in front of his own bed, leaning back against the frame. Sirius was right beside him, their legs occasionally brushing against each other whenever Sirius leaned over to grab another jelly slug. James laid on the floor, limbs sprawled like a starfish, stuffing his mouth with cauldron cakes, tie wrapped around his head in a makeshift headband. Peter set across from Remus, legs crossed, nipping on his butterbeer.

The Marauders Map laid on the floor as they had previously tried to plan another prank but then Sirius had proclaimed that it was time for a break and neither of the boys had paid any attention to the map since then.

But Remus didn’t mind. There was something he wanted to talk about with them anyway. Something, that was very important to him and yet frightening. He feared being rejected, of scaring his friends away. After all, they were the first ones he ever had. He was going to risk it all but he didn’t want to hide anymore.

They were his friends, his family.

They deserved to know.

“I’m a werewolf,” blurted Remus, quickly burying his face in his hands, avoiding to look the others into the eyes.

They were probably shocked, disgusted. They would throw him out of the Marauders, outcasting him. For a moment, there was silence between the four boys. Remus’ words still hanging heavily in the air.

“We know,” James said with a shrug. Remus lifted his head. “What?” The other three boys grinned at him. “Yeah, kinda figured it out a while ago,” added Sirius and reached out to lovingly squeeze his hand. “We didn’t want to confront you about it so we waited for you to say anything. Just wanted to make sure that you were ready to talk to us about it,” Peter said and fidgeted with his tie.

Remus could barely believe his ears. “And you don’t mind? Being friends with a monster and all that?” He asked, still taken aback by their reaction.

“You’re not a monster, Remus. My mother is but you, you are just Remus. Our best friend, my boyfriend and as of late, our favourite werewolf,” Sirius proclaimed dramatically.

Remus felt his heart flutter a little. “And you really mean it?” He asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

“Of course we do!” James rolled onto his stomach and crawled over to Remus, pulling him and Sirius into a big hug. Peter quickly joined them, almost stumbling over the map.

Remus felt a big smile spread across his face. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

When they left for dinner, Remus held Sirius back while James and Peter were already out of the dorm room.

He gently took Sirius’ hand into his own. “Are you really okay with … you know … dating a werewolf?” He asked, avoiding to look his boyfriend into the eyes.

Sirius huffed amused. “Remus, my dearest Remus. You could be a werewolf, related to Snape or even a Slytherin. After everything … I’d still choose you. I will always choose you. And now let’s get going, I’m starving.”

Remus laughed and pulled Sirius in for a kiss. “Could I interest you in an appetizer ala werewolf?” He whispered with a sly grin tugging at the corner of his lips. Sirius snorted.

“You know I can’t say no to that,” Sirius slurred before pulling Remus closer for a kiss.

They nearly missed dinner that day.


	5. Plaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Marauders era at Hogwarts  
> Scottish!Remus  
> Sirius wearing a kilt  
> fluff  
> first kiss
> 
> POV - Remus
> 
> Prompt: "You look pretty hot in plaid."  
> Remus comes back from class and finds Sirius wearing his kilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For neondomino.  
> Thank you so much for the prompt!

Remus was used to Sirius going through his clothes, wearing his jumpers and cardigans around the Common Room or going to bed in them.

And Remus liked the way Sirius looked in his clothing. Maybe it was the werewolf inside of him or maybe it was just the tight and pressing feeling inside his gut that just wouldn’t go away that made him feel that way about his friend.

But when he came into their dorm one day after class, he didn’t expect to see Sirius wearing the kilt his mother apparently had slid in with his other clothing. Remus had completely forgotten about it.

He stood there for a moment, looking at his friend, blinking. There was this tight feeling in his gut again, twisting his stomach, making his hurt flutter.

He swallowed hard as Sirius looked at him with a grin.

“Look at me, Moons!” Sirius twirled around, the fabric of the kilt lifting up ever so slightly to expose pale thighs.

Remus had the overpowering urge to strideover, wrap Sirius in his arms and mark him up. But he knew better than to give in to his urges.

Sirius laughed, fingers trailing over the kilt.

This simply wasn’t fair. Remus averted his eyes, brushing against Sirius’ shoulder as he moved past him to get to his bed.

“Remus? Are you okay? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put it one. I just never saw you wearing it and I wanted to give it a try,” Sirius said behind him, shuffling around nervously.

Remus sighed and sat on his bed, finally finding the courage to look at his friend. He looked him up and down, eyes trailing up from his exposed legs to where the kilt covered his upper thighs to his perfect face, worry seeping from his grey eyes.

“Don’t worry about it, Pads. I’m used to having you wear my clothes. I just didn’t expect you to go for this one. To be honest, I kind of forgot that I even had it with me.” He shrugged and gestured Sirius to step closer.

There was an expression flickering across Sirius’s face that he couldn’t quite place.

Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand and gently pulled him closer until his knees bumped against the bed frame, positioning him between his own legs.

Remus looked up.

Honey crashed with stormy clouds, like waves against the shore. “You look pretty hot in plaid,” he breathed, heart hammering fast against his ribcage. Remus feared that it would jump out any second. The words felt heavy on his tongue, burning in the back of his throat like whiskey. He felt a growl build up in the back of his throat but swallowed it down.

And then Sirius did something, Remus had never thought would be possible.

Sirius Orion Black flushed red.

The crimson-coloured heat crept up from his chest over his pale neck, spread across his cheeks and up to his ears. “Uhm, thank you?” Sirius looked away, chewing nervously on his bottom lip.

Remus let his fingers mindlessly trail over the plaid across Sirius’ shoulder, thoughts racing. The knot inside of him pulled tighter and tighter with every passing second. Breathing became harder and harder, the room around him soon started spinning.

“Sirius, I need to tell you something,” he blurted, taking him and Sirius by surprise. Remus scrambled to his feet, body crashing into his friend. Remus took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a split second. This could either go wonderfully well or it all would crash and burn.

But he couldn’t take it any longer. He had to tell him.

“I think I like you,” he said quickly, stumbling over his own words, his accent feeling thicker than usual, letters and words twisted in his mind.

Sirius stared at him, face still red. And then he smiled, grey eyes beaming with relief, excitement and love.

Remus felt his knees go weak but then Sirius wrapped his arms around him, their noses brushing against each other before their lips met for a clumsy yet perfect kiss. He curled his fingers into Sirius’ hair, pressing himself as close as humanly possible against him.

“I think it’s only fair that I get to see you in plaid now, too.”

Remus only laughed before finding Sirius’s lips for another kiss.

Something inside of him finally popped. The tightness was gone, leaving behind a warm and bubbly feeling.


	6. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Order of the Phoenix  
> sad-ish  
> comfort  
> sharing a bed
> 
> POV - Sirius
> 
> Prompt: “Scoot over a little bit, please.”  
> Remus gives Sirius a promise that they both know he won't be able to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For kattlupin.  
> Thank you so much for the prompt!

Being in Azkaban had been rough enough, being on the run afterwards wasn’t exactly fun and easy either.

But being locked up in 12 Grimmauld Place tore Sirius’s heart in all different directions. He was back in the home he ran away from, where he wasn’t welcome, every square overflowing with painful memories.

He wanted to help the Order, he wanted to see Harry and be the godfather he had promised James to be.

A lump formed in his throat as he curled himself into a tight ball. His chest heaved up and down slowly as he gave into the pain lingering in the back of his mind. Hot tears rolled down his face and over the bridge of his nose, bleeding into the old sheets beneath him.

Steps echoed through the hallway, coming to a halt in front of his bedroom door. There was a soft knock, whispered words and then silence.

Sirius knew who stood in front of that door. His presence was leaking through the cracks, warmth vibrating off of him. He swallowed hard.

The door opened and Remus stepped in. Sirius glanced at him without moving from his spot on the bed.

Remus looked old, the past years had left deep marks on his face. His once light-filled honey-coloured eyes looked tired and dull. His hair was a shaggy mess, strands constantly falling into his eyes.

Sirius sometimes wondered if the Moony he knew, the lanky boy with the crooked smile, was still around or if Remus had shut him out a long time ago.

And Sirius didn’t feel any better. He stopped feeling like himself years ago. He no longer was the Sirius Black who strolled around Hogwarts with his friends, laughing and pulling pranks.

Life had treated neither of them kindly.

Sirius closed his eyes as the mattress next to him dipped underneath Remus’s weight. “Scoot over a little bit, please,” Remus said, nudging Sirius gently with his knee. And Sirius did. Remus laid down behind him, his warmth soon pressing against his back. Sirius felt himself ease into it.

He shouldn’t be but he couldn’t help it. “Once this is over,” he whispered, “run away with me, Remus. We can leave, go wherever we want, wherever you want.”

Silence.

Remus stirred behind him, his arms finding their way around Sirius, pulling him even closer, nuzzling his nose into the matted black mess of hair. Remus hummed, the vibration sending shivers down Sirius’ spine.

His thoughts were racing, writing and erasing words in his mind, wondering what the other was thinking, what he was going to say.

But Remus remained silent, his heartbeat a steady drum against Sirius’s backside.

And Sirius suddenly understood. Remus couldn’t promise him anything.

The future was nothing more than a distant thought, a wish they longed for, unsure if it would ever come alive.

They were fighting a war. There was no place for empty promises, dangling from thin strands of hope. There was no place for what if’s and plans stretching further than the next couple of days.

But then Sirius felt Remus’ lips move, mouthing carefully constructed words against his neck. “I follow you wherever you go, Sirius. In life and death.”

Sirius took a shaky breath. “In life and death,” he repeated.

“Until mischief is managed,” Remus whispered before they both slipped away and dreams planted visions of love and peace into the neglected garden behind their eyelids, blooming with the hope of an after.


	7. beneath my skin i'm running out of time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: M  
> AU  
> Remadora  
> hurt  
> unhealthy coping mechanisms  
> alcoholism
> 
> POV - Sirius
> 
> AU where Sirius gets to live and Remus tells him about his wedding with Tonks.

It had been years since he fell in love with the werewolf. He remembered their time at Hogwarts. How contend they were, how close they were. And they could have been more, so much more than just friends, childishly messing around with each other, drunk on excitement and joy.

Sirius liked to think that it would have worked, that they could have been happy. But they had been in the midst of a war, fighting side by side, losing more and more friends and loved ones day by day.

Love was dangerous, he knew that. It would have given him a false sense of hope, planting the idea of a life with Remus by his side into his head.

So Sirius had shoved these feelings away, locked them away deep inside of his mind, not letting them see the light of day. It would have been too dangerous, too addicting to think of it all—about what could have been, what could have happened. 

During his time in Azkaban, he allowed himself to indulge in the very memories he had banished to replace the holes the dementors ripped into his soul day after day.

And yet it never had been enough. Sirius felt thirsty, longed for more. He couldn’t allow himself to trip, to go and bathe in affection that would never be returned. Sirius shoved it all back down, promising himself to never look back. And he didn’t for a long time.

Twelve long years passed and when he saw Remus the next time during Harry’s third year, it ignited a fire inside of him he had long forgotten. His whole body was suddenly aflame again, his thoughts a raging mess, his love for Remus pulsing painfully beneath his skin.

There was so much he wanted to say, so many nights he had laid awake and so many tears he had shed but he didn’t allow any of it to resurface. He was sick of coming undone and having to patch himself up over and over again.

So he stopped caring. But it was impossible to simply forget, impossible to not dream about all the possibilities, even after all those years—about what could have been, what could have happened.

He watched Remus from afar, keeping his distance, knowing how much was at stake.

They were at war. Again. Still side by side like all those years ago and yet so far away from each other.

And the worst thing of it all was watching Remus fall in love with someone else.

Sirius always wanted Remus to be happy. But seeing the way he looked at Tonks, the shy smiles he gave her, his laugh whenever she joked around made his heart ache. Remus had been through a lot and he deserved to love, deserved to be loved. And Sirius didn’t want to be a burden to his friend, troubling him with distant memories and a long-forgotten teenage dream, a young love crushed by the reality of adulthood and war.

Sirius sat in the kitchen, a glass of whiskey in his hand. It was late at night and everyone went to bed hours ago.

To Sirius, time had barely passed ever since he had left Azkaban. Seconds, minutes, hours, days and weeks all seemed the same, blurry and out of reach.

Sirius took a sip from his drink, humming as the whiskey burned in the back of his throat, lifting his head further into the clouds. Drinking had become his escape, a daily ritual he looked forward to more than anything. He would never admit it, of course. It would be too much.

He didn’t need anyone to babysit him and order him around, his mother had done that more than enough.

“You’re still up.” 

Sirius snapped back to reality and lifted his head.

Remus stood across from him, leaning against the door frame. The light inside the kitchen was dim, casting soft shadows across Remus’ face.

“I can’t sleep,” Sirius lied, refilling his glass with another round of golden liquid.

“You’ve been drinking a lot.” Remus steps into the kitchen and sits down next to Sirius.

Sirius could smell his cologne. Hints of chocolate and leather and old books washed over Sirius, hungrily latching onto him, making his skin crawl.

Sirius didn’t reply, his eyes fixed on the glass he held onto desperately.

“Sirius? What’s wrong?” Remus’ voice was soft and warm. Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Nothing,” he said quietly.

Remus placed his hand on Sirius’ thigh, his thumb dancing over the fabric of his jeans. “Don’t lie to me, Pads. You know that doesn’t work. Please, talk to me.”

Sirius opened his eyes again and faced Remus. Their eyes clashed in a hurricane of grey and gold, Sirius’ racing heartbeat struck through his chest like lightning, setting his insides aflame. “I already told you,” he said, “it’s nothing. I’m fine.” His jaw was set, knuckles turning white from his tight grasp around the glass.

Remus held his gaze, pinning Sirius to the chair, not allowing him to leave. Sirius wanted to get up, wanted to leave the kitchen and storm up to his room or even out into the dark of the night. His insides were painfully twisted when Remus finally shifted his eyes.

Sirius could feel himself slump against the back of the chair, his heart still racing. His mouth was dry, his throat itchy. Sirius threw back the whiskey and slammed the glass down on the kitchen table. The sound was loud and shrill, cutting through the silence between them.

Sirius reached for the whiskey bottle again but Remus was quicker, wrapping his fingers around Sirius’ wrist silently. Sirius didn’t fight it, not this time. He was too tired of always putting up a fight, always pushing back. Remus’ fingers were soft against his skin. 

“I need to talk to you about something,” Remus said, slowly letting go of Sirius’ wrist. “Tonks and I,” he took a deep breath and fixed Sirius with his eyes, “got married. Secretly, well, in a tavern, but still. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. We would have loved to have you there but it would have been too dangerous. I wish you could have been there with us, with _me_.”

Sirius bent over, resting his elbows on his thighs and his chin on his hands. Remus seemingly waited for Sirius to say something, anything but Sirius remained quiet for a long time. 

He had figured that Remus and Tonks had gotten married, hell, he even expected Tonks to be pregnant but hearing Remus say it out loud still made him feel sick. Sirius’ stomach flipped, his heart unbearably tight inside of his chest. His eyes shifted back and forth between the whiskey bottle, Remus and the dark hallway. In the back of his mind, he hoped for it all to be a dream, a stupid joke, a hallucination.

“Why?” Sirius asked, his voice barely a whisper. He was sad, broken, shattered. He could feel himself coming undone, suppressed feelings and old memories washed over him like waves, dragging him down to the bottom of the ocean.

“I just woke up one day and I knew,” Remus replied quietly, fidgeting with his ring.

“Knew what?” Sirius lifted his head just enough to look Remus in the eyes.

Remus brought his hand up to his face, his index finger touched his lip and the small scar there, his eyes filled with something Sirius couldn’t quite name. “What I was never sure of with you.”

Sirius wanted to scream but he remained silent. He poured himself another glass of whiskey. Remus didn’t attempt to stop him this time and just silently watched.

The glass was cold and smooth against Sirius' lips, the whiskey hot and rough on his tongue. Remus reached out and brushed his finger over Sirius’ arm with a sad smile. Sirius met his gaze and swallowed hard, jaw set.

The happiness and hope he saw blooming inside of Remus’ eyes were just enough to keep him from completely losing it that night.

Time slipped through his fingers, glass hit the floor and shattered into a million pieces.

Just like his heart.


	8. crawl into bed with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Marauders era at Hogwarts  
> fluff  
> sharing a bed
> 
> POV - Sirius
> 
> Prompt: "Quit touching me. Your feet are cold."  
> Sirius crawls into bed with Remus.

It wasn’t unusual for Sirius to slip into bed with Remus. Especially the days leading up to or after a full moon.

And today was no exception.

There was, of course, something else that made Sirius crawl into bed with his friend. Frequent nightmares had been haunting him for a while and the only thing that apparently helped was Remus. He obviously would never admit it but he felt safe around Remus, nightmares nothing more than a blurry memory sitting in the back of his mind.

Sirius slid out of his bed, quietly walked over to Remus’s bed and pushed back the curtains just enough so he could see inside. Remus blinked up at him sleepily and sat up. “Sirius?” he slurred, rubbing his honey-coloured eyes. Moonlight fell into the room, painting Remus in a cold yet soft light. “Can’t sleep,” Sirius mumbled, nervously playing with a strand of hair. 

Without another word, Remus lifted up his blanket to let Sirius scoot into bed with him. Sirius immediately felt the tension melt away as he fitted his body against his friend.

There was just something about Remus that made him feel warm and comfortable. 

Their faces were inches apart, breathing into each other, legs entangled underneath the sheets. “Quit touching me, Sirius, for Merlin’s sake. Your feet are fucking cold,” Remus mumbled, nuzzling his nose into Sirius’ dark hair. Sirius laughed quietly, “Sorry.” Remus huffed but smiled and Sirius felt all warm and giddy inside.

Remus’ bed had quickly turned into his safe space. Sirius was more than just grateful to have a great friend like Remus who didn’t judge him and just allowed him to seek the physical contact his parents denied him and allowed him to rest and stay as long as he needed to.

Behind the scarlet curtains, it felt like the world outside stopped existing, at least for the time being. No war, no homework, no parents. It was just him and Remus, two boys with difficult lives who found themselves a new family and nightly comfort in each other's arms.

Remus draped his arm over Sirius, pulled him closer and closed his eyes, his chest rising up and down slowly. Sirius watched him for a while before he fell asleep himself. He slept well that night.


	9. Forks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Marauders era at Hogwarts  
> jealousy  
> first kiss and love confessions
> 
> POV - Sirius
> 
> Prompt: "Hold my hand so he gets jealous."  
> Sirius takes revenge on James but ends up making two people jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For enbybookworm666 and Anonymous.  
> Thank you so much for the prompt!

“Lily, I need you to do something,” Sirius said.

Lily looked up from where she was slung over an armchair in the Gryffindor Common Room. She closed her book and raised an eyebrow. “What do you want, Sirius?”

Classes had just ended in time for lunch. And time was something Sirius was running out of. “I need you to hold my hand so he gets jealous.” Lily sighed. “What did James do to you now?”

Sirius chewed on his bottom lip and crossed his arms over his chest. “He said that he doesn’t like my hair, Lily! That’s a non-starter! How could he do that to me?” Lily threw her head back and laughed loudly. “So, are you in?” he asked and stretched out his hand. She grinned, grabbed his hand and let Sirius pull her to her feet.

“Of course, this will be great. Just don’t blame me when he jinxes you.” She laced their fingers together with an excited grin. “Your excitement should worry me more than it does but I think if it comes to a fight, I’ll kick James’ ass with no effort. That boy might be a good wizard but he’s also half-blind without his glasses.”

Sirius winked and together, hand in hand, they made their way down the stairs to the Great Hall. When they arrived, the other Marauders were already seated at the Gryffindor table.

Lily and Sirius came to a halt in the entrance and looked at each other for a second with a smile.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Lily asked. Sirius nodded. “Yes, Lily. James always gets away with shit like that but he has crossed his line. My hair is part of my identity! He did not just insult my hair but also me, his best friend. That really hurt, you know.” Lily sighed and shook her head. “If you say so.”

Sirius squeezed her hand and they made their way down the hall.

Once they were close enough to the others and in eyesight of none other than James Potter, Sirius pulled his hand back and instead wrapped his arm around Lily’s shoulder, pulled her closer as they walked and placed a kiss on her head. James dropped his spoon, his face turning as red as the tomato soup he was eating.

“How’s it going, everyone?” Sirius asked and let go of Lily, sliding into the free seat next to James. “Are you alright, Prongs? You’re a little red, like, everywhere,” Sirius said with a grin and got himself some food, chewing happily on his piece of bread while James fumed.

“What the fuck, Pads!” James yelled and shoved Sirius.

Sirius only laughed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a shrug, plopping a grape into his mouth. James leaned closer and Sirius could feel his breath on his skin. “I will murder you,” he whispered and grabbed a fork from the table and stabbed it into Sirius’ leg. Sirius howled in pain.

“Guys, come on, you’re being childish,” Lily chimed in from her place next to Sirius. Neither Sirius nor James budged, staring each other down.

“Where’s Moony?” Peter asked, snapping them back to reality. “Huh?” Sirius said. Remus, who was previously seated across from him, was up and gone.

Sirius sighed and lifted his hands defensively. “It was just a joke, James. But good to know that you would try to murder me with a fork, I gotta remember to hide all the cutlery when we move in together.” He shoved another piece of bread in his mouth and said while chewing, “I’ll go look for Moons. See you losers later.”

Sirius didn’t have to search for Remus for too long. He was in their dorm room, sitting on his bed and reading. He barely lifted his eyes off the page when Sirius entered the room. “Are you okay?” Sirius asked and sat down on the bed to Remus’ feet.

Remus lowered his book and the intensity in his amber eyes made Sirius’ heart drop. “Congratulations,” Remus said.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “For what?” Remus remained unbearably quiet. “Is it because of Lily? Remus, by Merlin, that was just a joke! I would never steal James’ girl and if I did, you would find my lifeless body in the Forbidden Forest. Lily is nice and all but I don’t have a death wish.” Sirius laughed, brushing his hand through his hair.

Remus closed the book, placed it on his nightstand and sat up.

“So you and Lily are not … dating?” Remus asked, nervously blinking.

Sirius leaned forward with a smile, their noses almost touching. “If Lily was a bloke, yes. Well, maybe. But no, Remus. Not in this timeline, I’m too gay for that,” he whispered. His heart hammered against his chest. Remus was so incredibly close it made his head spin and insides light up.

A smile spread across Remus’ face, his eyes lit up like torches. Sirius took a shaky breath and brushed his lips across Remus’ in a shy kiss, bringing his hands up to cup his freckled cheeks. “But you’re a bloke I am most definitely into,” he whispered.

Remus snorted.


	10. Amortentia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Marauders era at Hogwarts
> 
> Sirius and Remus smell Amortentia for the first time.

Sirius smells chocolate. It’s sweet and thick with hints of hazelnut, cinnamon, caramel. It reminds him of secret trips to Honeyduke’s, late nights in the Common Room, days spent in the infirmary after the full moon.

He smells something a little shyer, hidden behind the sweetness of chocolate. Sirius isn’t quite sure what it is at first but it reminds him of rainy days spent at the library, the rustling of book pages, ink drying on rolls of parchment.

He smells wool jumpers. It reminds him of cold mornings in the shack, excited golden eyes on Christmas morning, long hugs, tea with milk.

He smells the rain with hints of wood, green and lush. He thinks of full moons roaming around the Forbidden Forest, rolling in the dew-covered grass, curling up in the Common Room.

Remus smells leather. It’s not unpleasant but rather comforting, musky, well worn-in. It reminds him of trips to Hogsmeade in autumn, the crushing of leaves below heavy boots, bone-crushing hugs, earthshaking laughter.

He smells smoke. Cigarettes, campfires, fireworks. It’s not suffocating, more subtle, even comforting. He thinks of summers at the Potters, hours spent at Zonko’s, grey smoke secretly blown into the dark of night, sitting at the fireplace in the Common Room.

He smells mahogany, deep and rich. It reminds him of their dorm room, long nights spent laughing and planning pranks, curling up under the covers together.

He smells sugar, the sweetness in stark contrast to anything else. It reminds him of cauldron cakes and pumpkin pasties, butterbeer, sneaking into the kitchen late at night, secret kisses between classes.


	11. Comfort Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Marauders era at Hogwarts  
> hurt and comfort  
> fluff
> 
> POV - Remus
> 
> Prompt: an anniversary  
> Celebrating their anniversary goes a little different than Remus had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the Wolfstar Comfort Mini-Fest by swottypotter on tumblr!

When Remus pulled the curtains to Sirius’ bed open, his boyfriend still laid underneath his covers, curled into a tight ball. His ink-black hair was fanned around his head like a crown, messy and uncombed from another sleepless night.

Remus gestured for James and Peter to leave for breakfast without them before he climbed into bed with Sirius.

It was a foggy Saturday morning and their anniversary. Usually, it was Sirius who would be climbing into bed with Remus in the morning, cuddling and kissing him until he was fully awake.

Remus reached out and brushed his knuckles across Sirius’ cheekbone. “Good morning, Pad,” he said softly with a smile. 

Sirius stirred, his grey eyes fluttered open and his sleepy gaze met Remus’ golden eyes. He looked awful, dark circles under his eyes, skin unhealthily pale and grey eyes heavy with sorrow and homesickness. 

It pained Remus to see his boyfriend like that. He felt helpless, unsure of what to do. He had hoped that once Sirius was no longer home, things would be better but it took more out of Sirius than Remus had thought at first. The best he could do was to be there for him in the same way Sirius had always been there for him.

“Rough night?” Remus asked and slipped under the cover, wrapping his arms around Sirius and pulled him close. Sirius hummed, the sound vibrating deep in his chest.

Remus carefully combed his fingers through Sirius’ hair, brushing his fingers over his ear and down his neck, nestling them into the hair at the nape of his neck. He brought his head down, brushing his lips over Sirius’ forehead, the scent of Sirius’ shampoo tickling his nose.

They laid in bed until the sun stood high in the sky, warmth creeping into the dorm room through scarlet curtains. “We should get up,” Remus said softly, nudging Sirius’ leg with his own. Remus pulled Sirius to his feet and helped him to get dressed.

Down in the Common Room, the others said around the fireplace and waved at the couple when they descended down the stairs. “We got you some hot chocolate and cookies,” Peter said with a smile and gestured to the cups and plates in front of him. 

“Thanks,” Remus replied and gently nudged Sirius over to the sofa. Together, they curled up again and Remus handed Sirius his hot chocolate before he took his own.

Sirius was quietly sipping his hot chocolate while Remus combed his fingers through his hair again.

The room around them was quiet, most students were outside and enjoying the autumn sun but Remus wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world but by Sirius’ side.

“Happy anniversary,” he mumbled into Sirius’ hair, placing a soft kiss on the top of his head.

Sirius lifted his head and looked up at him through a curtain of long lashes. His eyes looked a little brighter than they did earlier that day and his skin had regained some of its colour.

“Thank you,” Sirius said, quietly. “For not giving up on me.”

A soft and warm feeling pulsated underneath Remus’ sternum and with a smile, he pulled Sirius closer, nestling his nose into his hair. “That’s what I’m supposed to say.”

They both chuckled, curling into each other some more, bathing in the comfort that they provided each other with.


	12. Potions Homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Marauders era at Hogwarts  
> fluff
> 
> POV - Sirius
> 
> Prompt: honesty  
> Sirius has something to say but James barges in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Day 2 of the Wolfstar Comfort Mini-Fest by swottypotter on tumblr!

Today is the day, Sirius thinks with a smile. He holds Remus’ hand in his own and rushes up the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower. Remus laughs behind him, a little drunk on butterbeer. They just returned from Hogsmeade and Sirius wants to have their dorm room to himself for a moment before Peter and James join them. 

He stammers out the password, stumbling over his own words in excitement. He has thought about this exact moment for a while, he wants to make it special, wants to make sure that he and Remus are alone.

The door to their dorm room swings open. Remus and Sirius stumble inside, a flying mess of entangled limbs and giggles. Remus lands beneath Sirius on his bed and Sirius’ mind goes blank for a split second.

Remus’ smile is bright, his golden eyes look like whiskey swirling in a crystal glass, freckles like stars scattered across his cheeks.

Sirius dips his head down and places a soft kiss on Remus’ lips, darting his tongue out and tasting him up. Caramel, cinnamon, chocolate.

“Someone’s eager,” Remus giggles, brushing their noses together before kissing Sirius again.

Sirius huffs, brushing a curl out of Remus’ face, taking in the sight below him once more. “I want to tell you something,” he says softly, summoning all the courage he requires.

Remus sits up a little, supporting himself on his forearms and crooks his head. “Good, me too. You start,” Remus says with a smile, bringing one hand up to brush his thumb over Sirius’ cheekbone. 

I love you, Sirius thinks. 

I loved you ever since I saw you step onto Platform 9 ¾ three years ago after I haven’t seen you all summer. You looked so different but so good. You suddenly were taller than me but I didn’t mind. 

I loved you ever since you crawled into bed with me whenever I had nightmares, the way you held me tight all night. And you would let me do the same for you.

I loved you ever since you had chocolate smeared all over your face and let me wipe it off. You started to blush furiously under my touch. Even the tips of your ears were bright red.

I loved you ever since you started to call me Padfoot among our friends but Sirius in private. I like the way you say my name. You make it sound so soft, almost like a prayer.

Sirius snaps back to reality as James storms into the dorm room with a loud laugh. “You guys would never believe what Petey just-” He stops in his tracks, spotting the couple on Remus’ bed. “Oh,” he says and awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry!” he yells and steps back out onto the corridor, closing the door behind him.

Remus clears his throat. “Anyway, what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

Sirius swallows and crawls off of Remus, slumping down onto the mattress next to him. “Can I copy your potions homework?” he asks, turning his head to face Remus. 

For a moment, there is silence but then Remus nods slowly. “Sure,” he says, gets up and walks over to his pile of parchment. 

“Didn’t you want to tell me anything?” Sirius asks as he watches Remus.

I love you, he wants to yell. He wants the entire school to hear it but the words just won’t come out.

Remus hands him a parchment roll with a tense smile. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

I love you, Sirius thinks and clutches the parchment to his chest.


End file.
